When I heard that Bobby was directing a sketch show called Half-Chinx Taking Over the World I begged him to let me be his assistant. Who better to direct a show called Half-Chinx than a white girl from Guelph?

At first all I got to do was bring Bobby coffee and massage his feet, but as the weeks went by I was allowed to actually speak with the actors and, now and then, give them some direction.

The results have been miraculous. I don't know if our audiences will be able to fully appreciate how far our actors have come. David Dineen Porter, for one, couldn't even speak English four weeks ago. Through a four-day ESL intensive and with the help of his fellow cast members, David has emerged as a remarkably articulate actor, giving an Oscar-worthy performance in the film portion of the show.

Jennifer "Adam" Forbes has adjusted nicely to her...his sex change, which was performed a few days before rehearsals started. That was a surprise at the first read, let me tell you. We had to bring in Siobhan Reddick to play the female roles we'd originally cast Adam in. Siobhan's performance is magnificent, especially off the stage where she pretends to actually like the other cast members when we all know she thinks she's better than us.

Aaron Forward and Darryl Hinds drive in from Mississauga for rehearsals. Bobby and I didn't want Darryl in the show because he has no talent and he's horrible to work with, but Aaron needed someone to car-pool with. James Hartnett wasn't supposed to be in the show either, but he kept showing up to rehearsals so we relented and allowed him some stage time. He's not a very good actor but he's a really nice person.

There has been some tension during the rehearsal process, largely due to the constant competition between Chani Nicholas and Sarah Cornell. Their vying for the attention of Dan Adlam at EVERY SINGLE REHEARSAL is distracting and, at times, just embarrassing. Still, due to our warm-up exercises at the beginning of each rehearsal, all of the actors are exceedingly focused while performing.

Working with Tony and Bobby on the title sketch has been a bittersweet experience. Bobby is prone to kicking his brother in the nuts if he forgets a line and Tony retaliates with such harsh words as, "you're a bumhead" and "at least I don't smell like poo". Ah, siblings. It's been an "adventure", shall we say, getting them to shut up and take direction.

These two guys named Mike and Rob keep coming to rehearsals and nobody knows why. All I know is that they're lovers and yet they are obsessed with heterosexual pornography. I think they might have written a couple of sketches too.

Well, that's about it for me. All in all, it's been a rewarding experience.

And by rewarding I mean painful.